slowly, and then all at once

Wine with coke, Friday evening and it feels like weekend despite work tonight.
Tuesday I will know some things. Maybe change some things. How can I want something so badly and yet be absolutely terrified by it I don’t know.
But I want it I want it I want it I want it.

Sundays are always for thinking too much it seems. I’m not good at this, not having proper company and above all during Sundays. Even though company will be here in few hours.
It’s a strange feeling, going in the right direction but on the wrong path.